My trip to New Zealand.. A journey to remember...
Here I was sitting in my flat in Melbourne at 12 AM mid-night or rather early Sunday morning, preparing some slides and presentations for my official trip to Wellington.
I had some ironing and packing left to do which I though I would do in the morning before starting off at about 11:30AM to board the 3PM flight to Wellington.
I was done by about 12:30, and went straight to bed.
Then all of a sudden, a possible divine intervention (I'm sure it was) made me think, where have I kept my tickets! And I reluctantly and tired wake from the bed to find the ticket, and had a glance to see some number printed big & bold. It read...9:30AM Sunday. I was like.. What! I opened my eyes wide to realize that my flight was actually at 9:30AM and not 3PM!!
Goodness gracious me! I had clothes to iron, a bag to pack and here I am at 12:30 AM all tired… and just realizing that I had to leave my home by 6AM to catch my flight, which means I need to wake up by atleast 4 to finish off my final packing and take bath and get ready! I was completely disgraced at myself.. Saying.. "Sandesh, what's gonna happen to you…"
And believe me that was just the start of it..
Next day all went fine, was actually the first person to collect the boarding pass! And the flight takes off on time.
The flight was scheduled to land by 3PM in Wellington, the weather outside was... Well… White! I could only see the clouds and noting else.. It was same for the last 15 odd minutes, almost 0 visibility. The captain announces that the weather is bad and hence may not get a permission by the ACT to land, and it was 3:05, I see outside it’s the same.. and all of a sudden.. Boom! The flight just drops altitude and wobbles left and right.. Then, probably the pilot takes a sharp U turn, the flight was slanted totally on one left side, I look outside, I see torrential rain and storm and my hearts beating real fast and the flight is still shaky, wobbly and rough. I'm just beginning to notice the sea below.. It looks too close to be true. Then far off I see small hills and houses on them.. They are almost at the same height as the flight.. I look at other passengers thinking will they have the same expression as those actors in the Discovery showcase depicting the moments just before a crash. I am living that same experience, but I see no expression on them… But the flight is fast approaching the water… Then, it was just few meters above water… I had my prayers in my mouth… Are we going to crash land into water? Has the pilot lost control due to the rain? But he sounded old and experienced... Will the water be freezing.. And again here I was sitting saying… "Sandesh, what's gonna happen to you…" And this time, I literally meant that. Anyways, all of a sudden I realize the plain has already landed on the runway. What a relief! The runway is actually right on the shore of the sea. Such a huge sigh of relief. It was a nice little airport on the sea side, so very Tsunami prone.. But what ever.. It’s a beautiful country, with stunning view of a cosmopolitan modern city landscaped with tall buildings that’s right next to a bay that's dotted with beautiful country houses on a lush green hillocks. All this captured in a single photo frame.
Anyways, continuing with my tryst with destiny, I reach my hotel a nice five star one which I had booked over phone. I go to the reception and hand over to the pretty lady out there my booking confirmation number. She asks me to swipe my card to hold the funds while I stay. I incidentally was supposed to be carrying the company's corporate card, but due to some issues it hadn't arrived till the date I travelled. So I was forced to give my own personal card. The lady swipes it and the payment is declined! Tries again, again declined. I then hand over the other debit card I had, and that too is rejected. The lady there was like.. "Sir, I'm sorry but we need get this working to hand over the room keys to you!" There I was standing in this island country where I was a complete stranger and knew no one. "Sandesh, what's gonna happen to you…" Then it suddenly flashed to me.. Has it been declined because it is a debit card and I didn’t have sufficient fund in my card account! I ask the lady there to provide me with Internet access so that I can transfer some funds to my card account hopefully that should fix the problem. The lady kindly obliges and provides me Internet access and once I did the transfer the card finally worked! I saw the sigh of relief from her end as well as she too was probably tensed on how to handle this issue. After all this, guess what, she was not actually very kind to provide me the Internet access, she actually charged $12 for just over a minute of internet access! But hell.. It atlease relieved me of a major embarrassment.
But otherwise, it’s a great place to live a nice quiet life. A city that’s so close to nature.. The city shuts down by 5 and deserted by 7. People get back to their homes that’s either on a hill top or in a huge farm with sheep's grazing & hens pecking and kids playing with their dogs. This is the place where cattle's outnumber people 20:1 & this is such a problem that the government collects tax for Animal farts! Yes! This is to control the carbon footprint left behind by methane in animals burps or fart! This is New Zealand.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Steps to solve this menace of terrorism in India.
The recent bombing in Mumbai has shaken many souls. I am one of the many who has been anguished, angered, frustrated and saddened by this incident. It made me think what I could do to help stop such menace. This motivated me to write this blog.
If not anything else, I can atleast suggest something that according to me is easily achievable in order to find respite from such horrendous activity from again taking place on our soil.
Here, I try to put forth some thoughts in my mind which you may find correct or may sometime find not very right. You are free to comment or add to this.
1) Have street level intelligence... Probably take some inspiration from some bollywood flick like Sarfarosh. It is sometime not all that wrong for policemen to get friendly with local gangsters, of-course such policemen should be monitored, but if such links are effectively used they can be a great source of information. For eg. how the sharp shooter and former Inspector Dayanand Nayak (of Ab tak chappan fame) used his contacts with the Chota Rajan gang to kull so many underworld gang men. Unfortunately such people are debarred from service.
2) Capital punishment to any terrorist. Didn't you listen the last 10 min of the film "A Wednesday"! We kill the rodents that enter our home, but we don’t do the same with the terrorists that enter our nation! Instead we wait for another terrorist to come and take few hostages so that we can release this ba****** back. Stop speaking about "human rights" for these in-human terrorists! Calling these terrorists barbarians also would be an insult to the barbarian tribe!
3) Implement POTA kind of law NOW! Given the current scenario, our policemen don’t even have the rights to detain a terror suspect even if he's sure of his activities, without a proper proof!! Give the police more right to detain terror suspects for interrogation even if sufficient proof is not present. Only after a thorough interrogation can we get some proof!! Common! If your scared of loosing your vote bank by implementing such laws! Then please... That means your assuming that this whole vote bank are terrorists!! Please, no one would be against any law if it’s implemented for the sake of their own protection! And again, how on earth is this gonna affect the so called "human rights"!! It is human right to protect yourself and your nation.
4) Give our men proper weapons! Atlest to protect themselves! Yeah! what could a police constable do in front of a terrorist having an AK 47!! Let alone AK47, even in front of a simple pistol, these men with either a stick(laati) or a the long 2 barrel rifle probably invented by Chinese during the opium war!! Are totally useless!
5) Have a central federal agency which is self regulated and that can work without any interference from the govt! This agency could integrate all information coming out of local and central agencies and help in coordination and communication as well. This should oversee that if a warning is issued by one agency, then appropriate action is taken by the concerned authorities to resolve of find a solution to the issue. This should avoid scenario’s where one agency says “We were not informed” and other says “We had already given a warning, but no action was taken”. For eg take the current Mumbai blasts, the IB says the coastal guards and Maha. Govt were prior intimated about the blasts, but unfortunately no one took it seriously of took actions for it.
6) Another point which is put forth again and again is why have the NSG only located in Delhi? Is it to protect the bloated up fat politicians sitting in Delhi who cannot even run when a dog is chasing them!! Common, it’s the National Security Guard. So place them across the nation from where they can be quickly reach any point of distress.
7) Reward informers for giving useful information! This would definitely be a motivating factor for getting low level common-man intelligence agency activated! This would also motivate the any lazy bugger to get his back side up and go report any suspicious activity taking place. This would have probably also motivated the shopkeeper who now, after the terror all happened tells that some guys bought Rs.50,000 worth of groceries recently from his store. Or the fisher man who now says yes he had strangely seen a few college guys with really heavy bags at the fishing shore. All these men are pointing to the same guys who then went on to create such a havoc! Imagine if this was earlier itself reported and some action was taken!!
8) Every single citizen should also take up the responsibility of being vigilant and report any suspicious activity. Also, in order to make it easy for them, probably start a national online web portal where people can login and give information about any suspicious activities that they come across. Make it traceable so that if someone is giving false details, they could be penalized. NIC is currently doing a good job of building an online infrastructure for the govt of India, but it needs to be extended. An "approachable" Local police would be another place where people could approach in case they have no access to the net!
9) Implement a policy of having Solid background verification process for each and every employee employed by any employing agency. Having a US style of Social Security Number and a 100 point check for every citizen of India, it'll make the task of verification quick, cheap and it is very achievable. Extend the PAN to act as SSN, or something else. But just do it. It’s got many many more great advantages and is surely rewarding.
10) Please please please, my dear politician! Be an Indian! Be responsible. We vote for someone who acts responsible, someone who is ready to listen to what the other party is saying and if logically correct, go ahead and implement it or support in implementing it, NOT to parties who just finding fault in everything that the other party says or does and use it its political speeches!
11) Build more and more political pressure on our neighbors to stop feeding these animals. Be it underworld kingpins or terror outfits. Their sources of income and support system needs to be curtailed, only then there could be some hope for a bright future for us as well as for them.
12) The large corporate I'm sure will be very much willing to come ahead in helping the the defense ministry by giving them resources. Not only Hardware and Software, but also Brainpower. Take ideas for these bright minds too. Terrorists are getting assistance from some brainwashed professionals. Believe me, if the state intelligence also uses this huge brain bank, you never know some great ideas may arise to curtail this menace.
13) Lucky 13, Give permissions to private security agencies to have sophisticated weaponry. If large private agencies are ready to support their securities by themselves, then let them! The govt will have that many less people to worry about. When I enter my office I see the security guard checking my vehicle, but if in case there was a weapon in my vehicle, the guard has no ways of stopping me!
These were my 25 paise of thought. I have no parting thought for this blog, If you’re a person with authority in the government or media reading this blog, then please have a think about it.
Thanks,
Sandesh.
If not anything else, I can atleast suggest something that according to me is easily achievable in order to find respite from such horrendous activity from again taking place on our soil.
Here, I try to put forth some thoughts in my mind which you may find correct or may sometime find not very right. You are free to comment or add to this.
1) Have street level intelligence... Probably take some inspiration from some bollywood flick like Sarfarosh. It is sometime not all that wrong for policemen to get friendly with local gangsters, of-course such policemen should be monitored, but if such links are effectively used they can be a great source of information. For eg. how the sharp shooter and former Inspector Dayanand Nayak (of Ab tak chappan fame) used his contacts with the Chota Rajan gang to kull so many underworld gang men. Unfortunately such people are debarred from service.
2) Capital punishment to any terrorist. Didn't you listen the last 10 min of the film "A Wednesday"! We kill the rodents that enter our home, but we don’t do the same with the terrorists that enter our nation! Instead we wait for another terrorist to come and take few hostages so that we can release this ba****** back. Stop speaking about "human rights" for these in-human terrorists! Calling these terrorists barbarians also would be an insult to the barbarian tribe!
3) Implement POTA kind of law NOW! Given the current scenario, our policemen don’t even have the rights to detain a terror suspect even if he's sure of his activities, without a proper proof!! Give the police more right to detain terror suspects for interrogation even if sufficient proof is not present. Only after a thorough interrogation can we get some proof!! Common! If your scared of loosing your vote bank by implementing such laws! Then please... That means your assuming that this whole vote bank are terrorists!! Please, no one would be against any law if it’s implemented for the sake of their own protection! And again, how on earth is this gonna affect the so called "human rights"!! It is human right to protect yourself and your nation.
4) Give our men proper weapons! Atlest to protect themselves! Yeah! what could a police constable do in front of a terrorist having an AK 47!! Let alone AK47, even in front of a simple pistol, these men with either a stick(laati) or a the long 2 barrel rifle probably invented by Chinese during the opium war!! Are totally useless!
5) Have a central federal agency which is self regulated and that can work without any interference from the govt! This agency could integrate all information coming out of local and central agencies and help in coordination and communication as well. This should oversee that if a warning is issued by one agency, then appropriate action is taken by the concerned authorities to resolve of find a solution to the issue. This should avoid scenario’s where one agency says “We were not informed” and other says “We had already given a warning, but no action was taken”. For eg take the current Mumbai blasts, the IB says the coastal guards and Maha. Govt were prior intimated about the blasts, but unfortunately no one took it seriously of took actions for it.
6) Another point which is put forth again and again is why have the NSG only located in Delhi? Is it to protect the bloated up fat politicians sitting in Delhi who cannot even run when a dog is chasing them!! Common, it’s the National Security Guard. So place them across the nation from where they can be quickly reach any point of distress.
7) Reward informers for giving useful information! This would definitely be a motivating factor for getting low level common-man intelligence agency activated! This would also motivate the any lazy bugger to get his back side up and go report any suspicious activity taking place. This would have probably also motivated the shopkeeper who now, after the terror all happened tells that some guys bought Rs.50,000 worth of groceries recently from his store. Or the fisher man who now says yes he had strangely seen a few college guys with really heavy bags at the fishing shore. All these men are pointing to the same guys who then went on to create such a havoc! Imagine if this was earlier itself reported and some action was taken!!
8) Every single citizen should also take up the responsibility of being vigilant and report any suspicious activity. Also, in order to make it easy for them, probably start a national online web portal where people can login and give information about any suspicious activities that they come across. Make it traceable so that if someone is giving false details, they could be penalized. NIC is currently doing a good job of building an online infrastructure for the govt of India, but it needs to be extended. An "approachable" Local police would be another place where people could approach in case they have no access to the net!
9) Implement a policy of having Solid background verification process for each and every employee employed by any employing agency. Having a US style of Social Security Number and a 100 point check for every citizen of India, it'll make the task of verification quick, cheap and it is very achievable. Extend the PAN to act as SSN, or something else. But just do it. It’s got many many more great advantages and is surely rewarding.
10) Please please please, my dear politician! Be an Indian! Be responsible. We vote for someone who acts responsible, someone who is ready to listen to what the other party is saying and if logically correct, go ahead and implement it or support in implementing it, NOT to parties who just finding fault in everything that the other party says or does and use it its political speeches!
11) Build more and more political pressure on our neighbors to stop feeding these animals. Be it underworld kingpins or terror outfits. Their sources of income and support system needs to be curtailed, only then there could be some hope for a bright future for us as well as for them.
12) The large corporate I'm sure will be very much willing to come ahead in helping the the defense ministry by giving them resources. Not only Hardware and Software, but also Brainpower. Take ideas for these bright minds too. Terrorists are getting assistance from some brainwashed professionals. Believe me, if the state intelligence also uses this huge brain bank, you never know some great ideas may arise to curtail this menace.
13) Lucky 13, Give permissions to private security agencies to have sophisticated weaponry. If large private agencies are ready to support their securities by themselves, then let them! The govt will have that many less people to worry about. When I enter my office I see the security guard checking my vehicle, but if in case there was a weapon in my vehicle, the guard has no ways of stopping me!
These were my 25 paise of thought. I have no parting thought for this blog, If you’re a person with authority in the government or media reading this blog, then please have a think about it.
Thanks,
Sandesh.
Monday, July 16, 2007
How business should be done!
Father : "I want you to marry a girl of my choice"
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Father : "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"
Next - Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father : "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case...ok"
This is how business is done!!
Moral: Even If you have nothing,You can get Anything.
But your attitude should be positive.
Think +ve.....
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Father : "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"
Next - Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father : "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case...ok"
This is how business is done!!
Moral: Even If you have nothing,You can get Anything.
But your attitude should be positive.
Think +ve.....
Monday, February 12, 2007
Luck in Recruitment...
With a pile of 300 resumes on his desk and a need to pick someone quickly, my boss told me to make calls on the bottom 50 and toss the rest.
"Throw away 250 resumes!?" I asked, shocked. "What if the best candidates are in there?"
"You have a point," he said. "But then again, I don't need people with bad luck here."
:)
"Throw away 250 resumes!?" I asked, shocked. "What if the best candidates are in there?"
"You have a point," he said. "But then again, I don't need people with bad luck here."
:)
Friday, December 29, 2006
Self Apprisal...
This is a story of a little boy who works for a living... We have a lot to learn from him.. Just read on...
A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits.
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation: The boy asked, "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn? The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn.
Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." replied boy. The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.
The little boy found more perseverance and offered, "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach, Florida. Again the woman answered in the negative.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all, walked over to the boy and said, "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.
The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!"
A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits.
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation: The boy asked, "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn? The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn.
Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." replied boy. The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.
The little boy found more perseverance and offered, "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach, Florida. Again the woman answered in the negative.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all, walked over to the boy and said, "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.
The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!"
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
An Interesting Paradox...
Few centuries ago, a Law teacher came across a student who was willing to learn but as unable to pay the fees. The student struck a deal saying, "I will pay your fee the day I win my first case in the court". Teacher agreed and proceeded with the law course. When the course was finished and teacher started pestering the student to pay up the fee, the student reminded him of the deal and pushed days. Fed up with this, the teacher decided to sue the student in the court of law and both of them decided to argue for themselves.
The teacher put forward his argument saying: "If I win this case, as per the court of law, the student has to pay me as the case is about his non-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, student will still pay me because he would have won his first case. So either way I will have to get the money". Equally brilliant student argued back saying: "If I win the case, as per the court of law, I don't have to pay anything to the teacher as the case is about my non-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, I don't have to pay him because I haven't won my first case yet. So either way, I am not going to pay the teacher anything".
Wow... Isn't this is one of the best paradoxes you've come across?
The teacher put forward his argument saying: "If I win this case, as per the court of law, the student has to pay me as the case is about his non-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, student will still pay me because he would have won his first case. So either way I will have to get the money". Equally brilliant student argued back saying: "If I win the case, as per the court of law, I don't have to pay anything to the teacher as the case is about my non-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, I don't have to pay him because I haven't won my first case yet. So either way, I am not going to pay the teacher anything".
Wow... Isn't this is one of the best paradoxes you've come across?
Friday, July 14, 2006
How a survey fails...
A worldwide survey was conducted by the! UN. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure,
In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant,
In Pak they didn't know what 'honest' meant,
In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant,
In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant,
In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant,
In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant,
And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure,
In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant,
In Pak they didn't know what 'honest' meant,
In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant,
In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant,
In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant,
In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant,
And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
This is how you recruit.
One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human ResourcesManager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up inheaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though,it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never oncehad a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really surewhat to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders. What we're going to do is let youhave a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whicheverone you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", saidthe woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in anelevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting greenof a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club andstanding in front of her were all her friends - dressed in evening gownsand cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and theytalked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and atnight went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak andlobster dinner.
She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and shehad a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a goodtime that before she knew it, it was time to leave.Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and foundSt. Peter waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing theharp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hourswere up and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now youmust choose your eternity,"
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'dsay this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had abetter time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she wentdown-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in adesolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends weredressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it insacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and therewas a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced andhad a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all myfriends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her smiled and said...
.
.
.
.
.
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an employee."
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though,it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never oncehad a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really surewhat to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders. What we're going to do is let youhave a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whicheverone you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", saidthe woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in anelevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting greenof a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club andstanding in front of her were all her friends - dressed in evening gownsand cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and theytalked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and atnight went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak andlobster dinner.
She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and shehad a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a goodtime that before she knew it, it was time to leave.Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and foundSt. Peter waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing theharp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hourswere up and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now youmust choose your eternity,"
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'dsay this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had abetter time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she wentdown-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in adesolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends weredressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it insacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and therewas a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced andhad a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all myfriends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her smiled and said...
.
.
.
.
.
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an employee."
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Don't let the cups drive you... enjoy the coffee instead.
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university lecturer.
Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said: "If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups."
"Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in ! society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change." "Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."
So ... don't let the cups drive you... enjoy the coffee instead.
Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said: "If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups."
"Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in ! society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change." "Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."
So ... don't let the cups drive you... enjoy the coffee instead.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Gather All resources be4 working on any project...
A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street.
A tall lady answered the door.
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.
"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s...!", exclaimed the eager salesman.
"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.
The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"
"We just moved in, & there's no electricity in the house!"
MORAL::::: Gather All resources be4 working on any project...
A tall lady answered the door.
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.
"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s...!", exclaimed the eager salesman.
"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.
The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"
"We just moved in, & there's no electricity in the house!"
MORAL::::: Gather All resources be4 working on any project...
Monday, May 22, 2006
DON'T EVER BE LATE.
A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few word while they waited...
"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had indeed come to a fine parish full of good loving people."
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk..."I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first oneto goto him in confession."
MORAL OF THIS STORY: DON'T EVER BE LATE.
"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had indeed come to a fine parish full of good loving people."
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk..."I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first oneto goto him in confession."
MORAL OF THIS STORY: DON'T EVER BE LATE.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Some cool dates this year
Hey was thinking of a few cool calender dates this year and found some really nice ones..
ON JUNE 6 - 2006 & 6 MIN & 6 SEC AFTER 6 AM DAY TIME AND DATE WILL BE
06:06:06:06 06/06/06
HAPPENS ONCE IN 10000 YEARS!!!
Also, on 4th of May 2006 at 1AM, 2Min and 3sec the clock showed...
01:02:03 04/05/06
HAPPENS ONCE IN 10000 YEARS!!!
Isnt that cooool!
Some other cool dates are...
20:06:20:06 20/06/2006
Let me know if you find some more.
Cheers!
Sandesh.
ON JUNE 6 - 2006 & 6 MIN & 6 SEC AFTER 6 AM DAY TIME AND DATE WILL BE
06:06:06:06 06/06/06
HAPPENS ONCE IN 10000 YEARS!!!
Also, on 4th of May 2006 at 1AM, 2Min and 3sec the clock showed...
01:02:03 04/05/06
HAPPENS ONCE IN 10000 YEARS!!!
Isnt that cooool!
Some other cool dates are...
20:06:20:06 20/06/2006
Let me know if you find some more.
Cheers!
Sandesh.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Say the right thing at the right time...
Rohit wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
Rohit looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!"
So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Rohit asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, Rohit asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!" His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said,
"Lady leave me alone! I'm married!"
Moral >>
Self-induced hangover -- Rs. 2000.00 >>
Broken furniture -- Rs. 20,000.00 >>
Breakfast -- Rs. 100.00 >>
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk - PRICELESS
Rohit looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!"
So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Rohit asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, Rohit asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!" His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said,
"Lady leave me alone! I'm married!"
Moral >>
Self-induced hangover -- Rs. 2000.00 >>
Broken furniture -- Rs. 20,000.00 >>
Breakfast -- Rs. 100.00 >>
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk - PRICELESS
Monday, May 15, 2006
Where to make an effort?
Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed?
The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.
Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.
"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer ......................... $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap ............................. $ 9998.00
Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference.
The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.
Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.
"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer ......................... $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap ............................. $ 9998.00
Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference.
Monday, April 24, 2006
An unsolved mystery... Managers!!!
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display.While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper,I'll have a C monkey please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash,handed it to the customer, saying, " That'll be$5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and "That was a very expensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?" The shopkeeper answered, "Ah,that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?" "Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it canmanage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All thereally useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in acage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped tothe shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the other put together! What on earth does it do?" The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seenit do anything, but the other monkeys call him the project manager."
Cheers!
Sandesh.
Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and "That was a very expensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?" The shopkeeper answered, "Ah,that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?" "Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it canmanage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All thereally useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in acage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped tothe shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the other put together! What on earth does it do?" The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seenit do anything, but the other monkeys call him the project manager."
Cheers!
Sandesh.
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